INFIDELITY: FOR SOME, ITS HARD BEING HUMAN

I do not condone the actions of the Governor of South Carolina. He represents a clutch of public servants whose recent indiscretions have been outed by one source or another. At some point, it was determined that when one signs up for such a visible career path, they should expect to be held to a higher 'standard' than the general public. I disagree. Whomever initially drew that conclusion, obviously thought that once elected, politicians walk through some sort of portal, which transforms them into someone/thing immune from temptation.


I understand the disappointment of Gov. Sanford's constituents, and of course, the hurt his wife and family must feel. On a personal level, I am a woman who has also experienced betrayal, and it often takes months, if not years to reconcile. What annoys me is that some feminista writers are trying to pass off their slanted commentaries as objective reporting.


Taking the fundamentalist extreme would say that anyone, at anytime, who has ever even had a risque thought in their head about an individual other than the one they're committed to is a failure - both as a spouse and a person. The other end insinuates they should be forgiven and perhaps even glorified, because everybody is flawed, damn it, deserving of a second chance. I subscribe to neither ideal, totally.


There is so much more going here than just the scorn of outsiders and pain of those directly affected. Why does it happen in the first place? Selfishness? Retribution? Insecurity? Boredom? In this and most situations we'll never truly know, but for the sake of argument, let's take the latter, and why not? We all get bored, so why are relationships off limits? People get bored! And then we can look at the daily grind: even the word 'routine' sounds like a yawn. Its the kids and work and laundry and cutting the grass and soccer games and reconciling checkbooks and all the obstacles that interfere with us maintaining the 'spark' in our relationships. After so many years, how do we NOT become drawn to someone or thing more exciting than we are? Let us answer that question first - before we go wagging our fingers at others.


Welcome to Humanity. We are curious creatures, and sometimes that 'drive' is so strong that it overshadows everything in its path. Often it is not a question of why someone would cheat, and an honest poll would reveal the husband/wife had NO intention of hurting their family. Its easy to sit there and pass judgement without looking at what makes us tick, but please, spare me the men-only-cheat-because-they-suck militant rhetoric. Men AND women stray because they feel insecure, self-serving, unloved, fed up, vain, or any other reason they, or you, can imagine.